Sunday, May 01, 2011

May Day's Marital Advice for the Shipwrecked


your partner is your mirror

getting away from the mirror for a time can be healing - and necessary - for both when the pressure and pain of the cooker gets too great.

but thinking that it will be ANY DIFFERENT with a new mirror is a mistake

marriage is when you commit to not changing the mirror, no matter how awful what you see there

when i found out, really found out, that i wasn't going to get what I, my little wounded lower self - wanted, i was ready to bail

but where was i gonna go?

after all the illusions die, that's when relationship really begins

when the ship of alchemical marriage is sinking it's because there was an agreement to go all the way into the depths together

my marital advice is: burn all lifeboats, and prepare to sink

26 comments:

Nobody said...

From a male perspective, would this be the same as making conscious one's anima projections, so our illusions die and we see the other for what they truly are?
What was it you wanted, that we want as men, to control or perhaps to return to the nest?

Eunus Noe said...

beautiful. I thank you for this.
(I actually crashed through a mirror on good friday in a night terror after fighting earlier w/ my wife)-haven't figured what to make of it, but this post hit the spot and syncs pretty hard.
take care
db

Jason Horsley said...

welcome, EN: cementing the alchemy with seven years "bad luck" (not gtting what you want)?

Nobody:

Yes.

And yes, both/and.

As men, the other filtered through anima projections is the mother. Hence what we want is to have control over her to undo the infant patterns of powerlessness; and to return to the nest of blissful oneness in which our reality is her body, and vice versa.

the solution is facing the present reality of no control, and no nest; the female's body belongs not to us but to the female.

The sooner we face that fact, the sooner we can start to get over it and on with it.

Nobody said...

This is fascinating on many levels, it's funny too because I just put this together...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYpaB2_VEEs

Anonymous said...

As men, the other filtered through anima projections is the mother. Hence what we want is to have control over her to undo the infant patterns of powerlessness; and to return to the nest of blissful oneness in which our reality is her body, and vice versa.

That is icky on so many levels while being brilliant, insightful, and ultimately true.

Modern people, and their bigger, better, deal mentality do not take commitments to marriage seriously.

Hadrianus said...

Well said. A few years ago, after the birth of my son, our first child, my marriage had difficulties due to all of the changes and pretty much because I was having a hard time accepting my responsibilities.

Happiness isn't escape. Happiness is accepting who you are and sticking to your commitments and becoming a better version of you.

The grass is not greener on the other side. It's just different grass and you will still be the same person with all of your faults and insecurities, just surrounded by different grass.

Yes. "burn all lifeboats, and prepare to sink"

lawnspeak said...

One can donate 25 pounds annually to lifeboats. Drowning sounds horrific- we have Prince William in the sky although he wouldn,t feel the financial pinch as us all . It all depends what level you are on. Pitching for words and phrases. It,s worse when one is matched by another person- difficult - one feels one sided and plastic. Hearing others wounds all through the world and life does not share with mathematics- when one has infinite all equations are tedious and know themselves without needing others to know. The Universe is so enormous it makes ourselves feel it also.

Badger said...

"burn all lifeboats, and prepare to sink"

Nice. Really. Very. Nice.

g said...

How you leave your last realationship maybe how you start your next. Thanks for this it helps.

GEO said...

When are you doing a new pdcast?

Jason Kephas said...

no plans

Anonymous said...

The best way to avoid the pain of a relationship, is to not have one. Simple, no pain, and no personal inconvenience.

Jason Kephas said...

and no personal evolution

Anonymous said...

You don't necassarily need a "relationship" to, "evolve." Whatever those two words mean, I shall leave to the intellectual zombies to suck up.

Jason Kephas said...

debatable; what's not debatable is that personal evolution involves pain

are you really this way or are you just pretending?

I'd rather be fishing said...

Am beginning to think
consciousness doesn't
exist because I'm out
of touch
with spirit.

As for "interpersonal
relationships" that's
One relationship with
the whole wide world.

Recommend a movie not
al-together "related"
The Machinist (2004).
keyword Elvis Presley

michael said...

I agree, and I disagree. Partners are mirrors, but you can be with the wrong partner, they are not merely mirrors only. My first marriage was hell, due to immaturity and constant fighting. I realized later we were horrible for each other and just too different to see eye to eye. I have now been with my second wife longer than the first and though she does mirror back to me the same problematic gremlins, everything is different. We are the best of friends, we always talk and laugh for hours. I realized after my divorce that that was the best thing I ever did.

Jason Kephas said...

There is such thing as making a mistake and owning up to it. Not all people are compatible just because their genital parts fit.

The meaning of 'compatible' is literally 'the ability to suffer together.'

Anonymous said...

Personally, it is enough to, "suffer" by myself. I don't need someone else to, "suffer" with me. That sounds a little too sadistic and vampyric from my perspective.

su said...

you say
'when the ship of alchemical marriage is sinking it's because there was an agreement to go all the way into the depths together

my marital advice is: burn all lifeboats, and prepare to sink'.

i can vouch for this.
except it was not up to me.
by grace it happened that the ship sank - it had become fetid and rancid. there was nothing to save.
and a realisation did dawn that this was the nature of romantic, familial relations. a new one would in enough time also demand a depth preiously unreached but which seemed too deep, too unknown.
the person who fell in love with the 'me' was the same one who set out to destroy it. thankfully.

Jason Kephas said...

Letting it sink means you get to find out if your mermaid selves are also married; if not then sinking is the end; otherwise it will be a new start. It's win/win.

Xinyu Hu said...

Women are like freaking trojan horses. They are unpredictable, and while they are all lovely on the surface, once the romance rush clicks in, women (most of them) become so full of shit, that you wonder how is it that they can say one thing, "i love you" then turn around the next day and tell you to fuck off.

My experience with my ex - thank goodness it ended when it did. She was one bitch from hell.

SED said...

As I see: Another person, whether man or woman, is (a) man in disguise.

"your mermaid selves" For The Win!

Now shut it and, don't forget to pray.

In-dept to Satan said...

I hear her echo crying crying. I want to smash the keyboard into the screen.

I can solve everything. I can save her. I can save the world. I do not. Why.

This technology, the body, hangs on my every "word". What shell I read from?

su said...

jason,

could i please use this image to link here from my blog?

Jason Kephas said...

of course, not mine anyway