The Art of Unliving

I've asked current SWEDANs to come up with advertising pitches for the process. Here's the first, from Steve "Hail." I'd like to see someone top this.

I lost all my friends, all my money, and all my aspirations on the ARGO-plan diet!

People keep coming up and saying "Shit man, you look awful! What happened to you?"

I tell them it's all thanks to new formula SWEDA! Say goodbye to your old personality and say "Hello!" to a brand-new you TODAY! Stop living and start dying!"

Before:

After: