Here's a transcript of JDR from the last evening we were in Amsterdam. This is the one during which I felt John was talking directly to myself, as I had added my intent to the question. (Yes, John: tell me about rage!)
I also came to see it as a delayed response to my previously unanswered question, during our own talk, "Am I still a warrior?"
The answer is, "Yes. But a soft warrior!"
(I just found out that my own talk with JDR is going to available as a video download soon, BTW.)
Man: I am moving into the void, experiencing love and a lot of rage at the same time. I see my awareness of the external shifting simultaneously. I lose capacity to formulate.
John: Your heart is entreat-able. Where there is love your heart is entreated and in your heart you open and you respond. It’s your Will that you are identified with
Your Will is also entreat-able, but it is only entreat-able by love. When love touches your Will, you recognize it in your heart and your Will opens, but when something other than love touches your Will, in your Will, you close and you do that which you are able to do…and that is push.
In knowing that in your heart and in your Will you are entreat-able but only by love, then incline your heart to that despite anything else that touches your Will. That for you then is the surrender of your own Will to That that touches your heart the most. You won’t have the advantage in your person of ‘push’ any more. You won’t have the satisfaction in your person of ‘push’ any more. What you will have, even in your person, is a delicate pull of being touched in your heart. This will cost you in your self everything that you have acquired in your self in being able to push and in having pushed. You’ll be turning into, throughout your self, a delicate willingness of heart that will come up first in your Will.
Underlying all of the rage is that you want to ‘do’. There’s the openness to do, but as soon as you move to do, you move in a Will that is conditioned to how you’ve made your self, and in that is a real frustration because in openness to do and the willingness to do the wrong thing keeps happening, so then you do what you can…and that is push.
Follow-through to the actual openness, within, the openness to do, even if you don’t know how to do. Hold that openness to do within the softness of your heart and you’ll know from within that a very little bit of how to do, because you’ll already in your heart be being that. That beingness coming into your Will, coming into your capacity as a person to do, will move with an openness and a kind of softness, even in your Will, that you’ve not been accustomed to.
Look for such really Little-Bits that you already know in your heart and you’ll not be frustrated in your Will with little bits of movement. Those little bits of movement in your Will will be very much touching your heart. You will love the delicate process in that. You will love the softening in that. You’ll love the real nurture in that. Your self will soften as your heart does. As that becomes your way, the way of your heart in your self, your person will soften and you’ll love the nurture of that. You will love the delicateness of that in your person.
The rage comes from your trying to make too big of a jump at once, and you’ll be skipping over the delicacies in your heart that do make a real step in your Will, work. Follow-through with the Little-Bits, look for the really Little-Bits, and you’ll be overcome with ‘pull’ in your heart instead of ‘push’ in your Will. As you begin to do this and you experience the hardness of your own Will open and soften, you’ll be filled with joy at the delicacy of that. As soon as you see it work, your heart will be won by that.
When you see it begin to work, you’ll have the innocence of glee in your heart, just like that in a lovely, lovely little boy. You’ll know the same, but as a man. Living by that will make you a lovely, lovely man. In your Will make no really big steps or you’ll be reverting in your Will to using what you can…and that is ‘push’. Relate to the Tiny-Little-Bits in your Will that touch your heart, and you’ll then be moving as that in your Will, opening and softening in your Will in ways that affect your self and your person. You’ll see the Tiny-Little-Bits of progress, the kind of progress that fills your heart.
Stay close to it and you’ll not fall away from it.