Wednesday, June 10, 2009
5 5 5
The thing about the Mother is if she doesn't surrender and sacrifice herself for the well-being of her children at the time, then she becomes a negative mother, a Gorgon. She drinks alcohol while I am in the womb, she doesn't breastfeed me, and she is not a present mother. She is half the time drunk, the other half insane. She is not what you'd call a good mother. I don't regret or resent the kind of mother that she was, but I don't have any illusions about it either. She doesn't either. She's not able to let go of being a mother because she feels that she screwed up, so her regret is causing her to hold on to that... but now it's too late to make amends, and it's not really necessary either.
What the Mother needs to do now is be exactly what we need her to be, which is not a mother but a warrior... To meet her death standing tall and looking forward without flinching and without clinging... To show her children how it's done... to surrender to the power of Pluto and be transformed.
Whether she's going to do this or not depends, to some extent, on how much we can let go of that part that is bonded to her. That part will dissolve into nothingness in time for a greater dissolution to come.