Gnosis Through Crisis

Identity Deconstruction and Pattern Recognition in the End Times.

The oldest question known to Man is: “Who am I?”

The answer is somewhat complicated, which is why the question still persists.

Personal identity is a construct. It is made up of interlocking “patterns” or “imprints,” created by repeat emotional/psychological trauma throughout our lives. The deepest traumas tend to occur in the first 14 years of our lives, but particularly in the first 7. This is when our basic patterns—our personal identity—is created.

These patterns interlock and form “grids.” Ostensibly, these grids act as shields. They are like emotional armor to protect us—our wounds—from “life”—which is to say, further trauma, further wounding. Problem is, this armor makes it impossible for us to reach these wounds. Deep beneath our armor, they fester and bleed through lack of tending. And that’s not all. At the same time, our emotional armor—since it “protects” us from interacting at more intimate levels—severely impairs our psychological growth. Like the bound feet of Oriental women or infant children forced to live inside glass jars to create circus attractions, any growth is redirected down these patterns, into deeper and deeper distortion and crippling. Not only are our wounds chronic, they are gangrenous.

However, since the original armor-patterns were designed—unconsciously but instinctively—to cover these early wounds, they can reveal to us (if studied with a dispassionate eye) the nature and “location” (in time) of our wounding. Instead of “following the money,” we need to follow the pattern to find out what’s behind the corrupt system of “personal identity.” Revelation of wounding leads to crisis; crisis provides the opportunity to tend and dress the wounds, with an awareness lacking at the time of the wounding, and so allow them to heal into scars.

We cannot transform our patterns. They were created this way for a reason. But we can allow them to transform us, by being in them without resisting them, by being “tenderly OK with them.”