Tuesday, September 21, 2010

More Poems from SWEDA exchanges

dis-enmeshment blues

it is hardest of all
to dis-enmesh with close ones
it is like betraying
and being betrayed
we only ever open our mouths
when we want something
i am feeling that so acutely today
i couldn't even say it
to my closest other
it was like i wanted something
by saying it
it is a frightening thought
and undercuts everything
it goes back to being an infant
crying when hungry
and later, "look at me daddy!"
as adults
what do we need?

love & death
i am searching
only and always
for a more honest way of being
it isn't complicated
or mysterious
there is only one thing to be looked at
how honest am i being now?
what do i know?
with loved ones
we only really know two basic things
we love them
and they are going to die
we may know other stuff
but these two knowings are profound
and love is not complete
without the knowing
of death
else we treat those we love
as if they will always be around
as long as we are thinking of death
as a negative
then we are not in a knowing
how can what is a part of life
be negative?
if you strip away all the intellectual fear
death is a negative for one reason only
we do not want to say goodbye
to those we love
life is hardly long enough
to say a proper hello
and then we are gone
at the time
the moments were eternal
the summers endless
and now
they are gone, gone, gone
either those moments still exist
or they don't
we know they still exist
we are speaking of them now
but the sadness of their passing
out of our senses
is so profound
THAT is life
profound sorrow is a part of life
it can be allowed to be present

baby eyes
do we look at the sun
or do we look at the ground?
looking is not that important
seeing is
for a tree to ask that question
would be absurd
we get to let go of all we do
to keep the wounds out of awareness
because everything we do
for that reason
is bogus
we cross a million lines of knowing
to avoid those wounds
it becomes impossible to grow
a flower that wants to see the sun
and not the earth
won't allow its roots to go deep
it will never see the sun
only an idea of what the sun might be
we have not even sprouted yet
we think this is life, but it isn't
not yet
the sun is LIKE something you feel
when you expect nothing
and then feel it glowing
all over you
an unexpected gift
expect nothing
it is not easy to do
imagine living a life that way
expecting nothing
with baby eyes

shamans and men
what's wrong isn't our actions
but our rationalizations
if we let go of the rationalizations
then our actions change of their own accord
no longer supported
everything needs to be questioned
a shaman, they say,
is gifted at healing those
who were wounded as he was
in the same capacity
what he did not get as a child
he is adept at giving to others
there is a big difference
between what a shaman does
and what an average man does


Anonymous said...

Keep mouth shut, me?
I won't remember you
or me, so this feels
very douche to type.
I want to thank you.
I getting something?
Piss! Thanks anyway.
Drops smile..thanks.

su said...

this is amazing.
you are explaining to me what is happening - clearly, beautifully.