Monday, August 03, 2009

Down Time

August 1, 2009

I dreamt that I was back at home, of undeterminable age. In the bathroom, I flushed after urination, and shit started pouring up from the toilet. I knew my father's presence, which I observed to split into two persons. The calm, nurturing father walked away from the vile scene, and the angry, irrational half came over to me and started screaming at me. I told him "all I did was take a piss", and he screamed back "all I did was wake up". He barked orders at me to go out to the garage and get the wet-vac. I knew it was imperative to get the wet-vac as quickly as possible to prevent the shit infested water from spreading, but I couldn't get into the garage, the lock to one door was stuck, and I seemed to have the wrong keys for the other door. When I finally got into the garage I was weeping uncontrollably, and I collapsed on the floor. I was crawling towards the wet-vac, and I couldn't catch my breath. When I finally got to the wet-vac I couldn't breathe at all. I blacked out in the dream, and awoke.
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August 3, 2009

Dear Artist,
Thank you for entering the 27th Annual Art in the Metroplex competition. Regretfully, your work was not chosen to be included in this year’s exhibition. We do hope you will enter again next year.
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Rejection
Failure
Disappointment

Life is hard. The real question is whether this adversity is building the necessary strength for something yet to be understood, or if it is all a senseless waste of joy.

10 comments:

aeoli kephas said...

"Life is hard. The real question is whether this adversity is building the necessary strength for something yet to be understood, or if it is all a senseless waste of joy."

Or is it simply - an opportunity to surrender?

: D

aeoli kephas said...

It's not a matter of OR, there is no mutual exclusivity here brother. Rejection, failure, and disappointment are integral to a surrendered life. Surrender means dropping the armor and being vulnerable to these sensations, these modes of awareness, in order to process them. The man who loves his life shall surely loose it.

aeoli kephas said...

Speaking of surrender, we have turned the Comment moderation off.

aeoli kephas said...

Have WE?

Thanks for telling US!

; D

Mr Panda said...

I definitely know that feeling of rejection Mr Kephas, having being rejected by an art show just the other year. Upon visiting the said art show to find a ton of really bland, safe pieces of artwork only rubbed salt into the wound. The fact that I was annoyed about not being allowed to display some artwork for free just seemed a little absurd. My attitude now is to push it further and do whatever i want and create works that are purposefully guaranteed rejection. Dunno if thats right or wrong, but it feels good to me.

Oh and since you've turned the comment moderation off I shall say booby tit fart poop! Ah yeah!

aeoli kephas said...

"create works that are purposefully guaranteed rejection"

This is just as bad as all the art students who create art based on the dictums of the art establishment. Your reaction against the establishment is still in relation to its parameters. Just be yourself and follow your own guidance.

Comment moderation is back on. Everyone thank Mr. Panda.

Anonymous said...

Maybe, in your dream, you should tell the malevolent side of your Father to fuck off, then leave, and say you'll only consider coming back of the caring side of him is there...

aeoli kephas said...

thanks Mr. P

Anonymous said...

Panda man- I was raised a catholic and when I came to the age of reason I rejected by christian upbringing with a vengeance and became a fervent atheist. the feeling I had was one of liberation until I gradually realized that I was being defined by what I was NOT. that being an atheist was just as a much a trap as being the most zealous believer.

Anonymous said...

ok i'm conversing with you ,what do you want to know?
DAN.